Delicious!
by Dark Kyotoa
Summary: When Kirby is alone and hungry with Toon Link you can kinda predict what will happen. Can Lucario save him from Kirby's freakish hunger?
1. Chapter 1

Delicious!

A Fan-Fic by me!

A pink ball of fluff yawned in the living room of the Smash Brothers Estate. He slowly blinked, half dead from boredom. What was a Kirby to do when everyone else was busy, and there was nowhere to go? He lay on the suede couch, his stump-for-a-hand acting as a pedestal for his head. Just then, a low growl filled the air.

"Eh?" he mumbled. He soon realized that it was his stomach that was growling. Kirby leaped off the beige couch and stumbled towards the kitchen. It was relatively clean, with a few inevitable stains on the counter. After all, how could there be untouched cleanliness with about 35 people in the house? He struggled to grab a hold of the refrigerator handle (He's 2 feet tall. How would he NOT struggle?) but managed to open the door, but found...

"OMG! AHHHHHHHHHH!"

A passing by Peach stopped and stared at the hyperventilating Kirby. Currently, Kirby was running around in circles and screaming in sheer panic.

Peach was in awe. "Uhh... are you okay?"

Kirby turned to the princess, foaming at the mouth. "THERE IS NO FOOD! KYAAA!"

"Err..." Peach was hesitant. "Yeah, I'll go to the store with some of the other Smashers if we need to..."

Kirby stared up at her with wide, watery eyes. "R-really?"'

"Sure, baby!

"THANK YOOOOU!" Kirby squealed happily, holding Peach in a death squeeze.

"Haa, okay Kirby. I'll just go with some of the others to the market!" Peach said, grabbing the nearby keys to the bus. She headed over towards the conveniently-placed megaphone and said, "Anyone who wants to come to the market, come to the foyer right away!"

Almost immediately, just about all of the smashers met in the same room. Well, all but two anyways.

Falco noticed that Kirby, Lucario, and Toon Link weren't in the room. "Hey, Peach? Where are-"

"Lucario and Kirby? Well, Lucario's off being emo and Kirby would probably eat everything if he went to the shop with us. As for Toon Link, I have no idea." Peach replied. Made sense to Falco.


	2. Chapter 2

Delicious!

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I forgot this! I own nothing! Gah!

Lucario was in his room doing... whatever lucarios do in their rooms. Wait, let me check... oh! He was reading some book called, "Finding the Real You". The room was rather elegant, considering it was a room for a pokemon. A lavish maroon carpet rolled out over the room and a canopy bed, not to mention the prima-donna chandelier, the kind of room only rich snobs would be able to afford. (Which Lucario happened to be, only he was literate.)

A red eye glanced out the window, barely able to glimpse a bus taking off to the nearby town. He softly scoffed before returning to Chapter 5: Welcoming the Inner Child. As soon as he finished the first paragraph, he heard the (rather whiny) twelve-and-three-quarters-year-old voice of Toon Link. (Whom Lucario hated, but then again, that was just about everyone in the house)

"WAIT! STOP! TAKE ME WITH YOOOOOOOOU!" The mini-hylan/human/whatever he is this time ran as quickly as his insanely short legs could carry him. He continued running before promptly running into a tree because of sheer stupidity. Lucario shook his head and rolled his eyes. What a looser...

"HAIII LUCARIO!"

"Gyah!" Lucario fell backwards and out of his chair, landing on the floor. In front of him was Toon Link. Okay, either he ran REALLY fast and was holding it in, or he could teleport. Neither explained why he didn't use either tactic to reach the bus, but Lucario didn't bother thinking too hard about it. "What is it this time, you kid?!" Lucario barked.

"I'm really bored. Will you play with me?" the child said. Lucario's eye twitched. Wasn't he too old for games anyways? "No!"

"Come on, pleeeeease?" he pleaded.

"NO!"

Toon Link whimpered. "Okay... I'll just have to sulk around the house all day and MASTER BALL GO!" Lucario immediately felt the sensation of being sucked in to a pokeball. About two seconds later, Toon Link caught his first pokemon. Another two seconds later, he released Lucario.

The pokemon growled. He pounced on the kid and restrained him by the shoulders. "Never... speak of this... to _anyone,_" he hissed. "Err... it's already on the internet." Lucario was puzzled, he stood up and went on Youtube, and sure enough there was footage of Toon Link catching him in a Master Ball.

"... I freaking hate you."

Kirby dragged himself throughout the mansion. Food... it was his prized possession. Nothing ever got between him and food. And now, there was nothing to eat! It made Kirby want to go lay down and die. Which he would do, if he didn't value life as much. Which kinda canceled out that last comment. Sorry about that. Kirby moped, eventually coming to a halt at the base of Toon Link's room.

Hmm. Kirby looked around, making sure nobody was watching. It was clear. Kirby pushed open the door, and found a rather simple room. A few drawers, a bed, (Bed! Kirby expected a hammock or something along those lines) a good amount of attack items, like swords and bombs, in the corner, and stuffed animal with a tag with the words "Mr. Yum Yum" on the bed. (What the crap?)

Kirby walked around, paying particular attention to the unguarded weaponry. Was the kid armed all the time? He doubted it, so the stuff in the corner must have been where he put his stuff when he wasn't fighting. Kirby became bored by the items and prepared to lay down on the bed and die. (Or fall asleep. It was the closest he could come to death without actually dying, so...)

Then, the pink puffball stared into the stuffed animal's lifeless eyes. It was a yellow bunny, so simple, yet so comforting. Kirby read the tag over and over again. "Mr. Yum Yum." It ringed in his head over and over again. The gnawing hunger worsened, and the voices in his head grew louder.

"Mr. Yum Yum..." Kirby said, pursing his lips. His eyes peered over at the corner, where the weapon-stuff-things were stored, and they came back to Mr. Yum Yum's tag. Then it came to him. Kirby cackled evilly as he pulled off the tag, and grabbed a random key. He made sure the window was locked and unreachable, then he grabbed a boomerang and a few bombs. Kirby took a last look in the room before locking the door. Hunger no more... MUAHAHAHA!

A/N: Oh no! What kind of fiendish plot has Kirby come up with this time? (Well, we already kinda know, but nevermind that.) Yes, crappy story. Oh well.


	3. Chapter 3

Delicious!

Chapter Three

After a few strange intrusions, the destruction of three pieces of furniture, and other such things, Lucario was at the brink of utter insanity. And to think this kid saved the world... twice!

"Will... you... GET THE HECK OUTTA MY ROOM ALREADY?!" he finally snapped. "You're giving my a dang ulcer!"

The child simply smiled. "Noooo, not until-" He was cut off by Lucario, who used a random spare Smash Ball on the poor kid. Toon Link was left semi-unconscious in the hallway. "Maybe now I can get some peace..." Lucario said to himself. Hmm, he talks to himself. Freak.

As I said before, Toon Link was pretty much in a coma on the floor while Lucario continued reading his book. (That the he made fun of. I mean seriously, who reads books like that?!) After about seven minutes, he finally got up. "What happened last night... oh wait, I wasn't at a party."

Then he heard freaky, maniacal laughter from nowhere. It sounded like... Kirby? Toon Link felt awkward. He couldn't imagine a sweet little fluffy ball of love being bent on destroying the planet. Then again, he faced weird stuff all the time. "Hey, look! My first target! Can't wait for some of that. MUAHAHA!" said the deranged Kirby.

"Uhh, Kirby? Did you eat something bad last night or something. Cuz I think Samus has some Pepto in the cabinet or something," Toon Link said, utterly confused.

"NO! But maybe you'll make me even crazier! GWAHEHEHE!"

Okay, that laughing-at-the-end-of-every-sentence thing was getting annoying. And what did he even mean by that? All Toon Link knew was he needed to get his stuff and beat this dude. He darted over to his room, which was actually quite close by, and tried to open the door, but it was locked! "Crap!"

"You thought I was that stupid, meat? HA!"

Now it was just plain stupid. He needed to stop laughing! "Stop that Kirby! You're freaking me out!"

"Well, I'd be scared to if I were in your position, Mr. Yum Yum!"

"Uhh, did you find that in my room? I swear, it's not mine! It's Jigglypuff's!"

"That's not the point, twit! Think for a minute!" So he did. Toon Link paused, deep in thought. Kirby grumbled something under his breath. Then, it finally clicked.

"So, what you're saying is you've turned into some whacked-up cannibalistic freak bent on killing me and Lucario and eating our tender flesh just because you've gone three hourse without food?"

"... No. But that's a great idea!"

Toon Link slapped himself in the face. "Dang it!"

"And for the record, I'm only after you."

"More dang it!"

"Yeah, I'd suggest you'd run." But Toon Link was already downstairs and headed for who-knows-where. Kirby stared and blinked stupidly. "... GET IN MAH BELLY!"

Meanwhile...

Peach was holding a turnip in the produce section, when her eyes suddenly widened and she dropped the turnip. "Wait, I sense a disturbance!"

"What do you mean?" asked Lucas.

"I feel that Kirby has made some horrible reference to Austin Powers... Oh well. Can't be anything bad, right?"

"Agreed!" Lucas said.

A/N: Ha, I've been waiting forever to have Kirby say that.


	4. Chapter 4

Delicious!

Chapter Four

Currently, Toon Link was hidden. Where? I don't know. He paid me so I wouldn't tell you. But, he was currently in a box. It was very cramped in there, and he felt something run up against his leg, but it was a place to stay for the moment.

"Kid, will you mind, I'm kinda in a moment!"

"Oh gawd, who is this?!"

"SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!"

Toon Link laughed nervously. "Hehe... okay then, Snake."

"RAAAAWR! FOOD FOR ME!" The walls surrounding them were ripped to shreds, revealing the two.

Snake gaped. "M-my boxy woxy! You've ruined her. Nooooooooooo! No! This is terrible! WAAAAUGH!" Snake rolled around in the remains of his box, then ran around in circles before jumping out the window, shattering the glass and leaving shards of the fragile substance scattered around the restroom where the two had been hidden.

"... This is the third floor," Kirby said. "Oh well. COME TO PAPA!"

"Aiiiiiiiiiieeee!" Toon Link zoomed out of the bathroom.

"Come back here, sammich!" Kirby screamed, referring to Toon Link as a sandwich.

Meanwhile, the two kept on playing the disturbing game of cat and mouse. Toon Link jumped into Luigi's room, quickly looking for something that could assist him in escaping Kirby's hungry wrath. His abnormally large "cat eyes," as Snake and Sakurai called them, scanned the room. There, sprawled underneath a shoe, was a mushroom.

"Yes!" He sprang onto it, and surely his size changed. But... he became smaller.

"Gwah? Nooooo!" Of course, this act of stupidity not only made him shrink, but that wail made Kirby find him even faster than anticipated!

"There you are, morsel! Yahaha-OWIE!" Kirby was hit in the face by a shoe that Toon Link threw at him.

"Stop laughing! It's so annoying!" said the mini-Link. He reached for the closest object he could find, which happened to be one of Luigi's huge dressers, and chucked it at Kirby. The puffball shouted in pain and was subdued for a moment.

"Wow. I didn't know those shrooms made you strong!" Kirby said before commencing panic at the fact that there was a _dresser_ on top of him. Toon Link took advantage of this and began to run again. Luckily, he grew back to normal size by now.

Finally, he discovered some kind of cellar under a rug. (Don't ask how. Or die) Toon Link ran down there, hoping to find a place to hide, some kind of explosive device, or some vague combination of the two. Unfortunately, he found none. But he DID find some freakish looking laboratory. Hmm. Must have been there for the pleasure of Crazy Hand. Come to think of it... where was Crazy Hand?

In Tijuana, Mexico...

"HOLA COMPADRES!!" Shouted the insane hand.

"... Mami, porque esta hablando un mano?" said a little girl. She then grabbed a conveniently placed lobster and tossed it onto the hand, who began to scream as it clawed out his non-existant eyes.

Back at Smash Mansion/Estate/Whatever...

Toon Link ended up mixing some also-conveniently placed chemicals and hoped they'd do something. In the nick of time too, since Kirby was coming down the steps.

"Haaaai! I know you're down here. And no throwing dressers this time! Those things are REALLY painful!"

"Eat this, bubble-gum freak!" A vile holding a foul green liquid sailed through the air, hitting the kirby squarely on the forehead. At first, it did nothing.

"Ha! Looks like you're BOLTED!"

"What?"

"Oh, it's like being screwed, only it's a bolt, smart, huh?" Kirby said proudly, almost resembling a sane person. BAM! He became blue in a second. Other than that though, nothing happened. Toon Link frowned, but had an idea. He grabbed two pencils and taped them together, forming a wonky cross. He then approached Kirby and stuck the makeshift cross in his face.

"DIE EVIL SCUM FROM HECK!" yelled the child.

"... What the crap?" Kirby then grabbed the cross and tried throwing it, but instead, his now blue hand began to sizzle. "OMG! It burns!"

"Wow, I didn't think that would work!" Toon Link thought as he ran back up the steps. Apparently, Kirby was still being burned. It was strange; the weirdest things were giving him enough time to escape. Oh well, can't question that kind of thing, he thought. By this point, he had reached the edge of Lucario's room, where he began.

A/N: Wow, I wonder what will happen now? Well, I already know, but I'm just acting for your sake. Oh, and the scenes with Snake freaking out and Toon Link using a cross were Atomic Cube's idea. But I changed them a bit. Mwehehe. Thanks for the reviews!


	5. Chapter 5

Delicious!

Chapter Five

Lucario was busy soaking himself in a hot-tub he installed into his room in a matter of 45 minutes, which was the about time Toon Link had been gone. Come to think of it, where were those two? He had seen Toon Link, but did Kirby go crawl under the bed and die or something? Of course, Lucario was unaware of the events unfolding, since he was listening to an iPod, which was playing some Jonas Brothers song.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh! Lucario, help me!"

Well, there goes his peace of mind. "What are you clucking about, you dope?"

"Oh gawsh, Kirby's gone Donner Party on us!"

"Yeah, speak English kid," Lucario stated, trying to absorb what little relaxation he had left.

"I am! He's trying to eat me! Why me?! Why not you?!" he said in a frenzy.

Lucario growled. "Hey! If anything, I you taste better anyways! I heard boys at your age are riper anyways."

"Wait, how would you know that?" Toon Link asked.

"It's called Uncyclopedia, kid. Besides, if Kirby's intention is to get rid of you, then I applaud him," Lucario said. He began to use a nail file to sharpen his claws, to make himself look more threatening. Unfortunately, it wasn't working. It just made him look girly.

"Oh tasty! Come out and play! It won't hurt! (Much...)" called Kirby in a sing-song tone. He was across the hall, waiting.

"LucariodosomethingbeforeIdie!" Toon Link said hurriedly, crawling under the bed for protection. Lucario raised his eyebrows and came out of the tub, dripping wet. He came near the bed and pulled out the small child, who was clawing on the ground like some kind of cat. (Which he resembled, due to his eyes... what the heck? Who wrote that?)

The enraged pokemon opened the door, holding Toon Link by the legs, so he dangled in the air, squirming for freedom. Eventually, Kirby found them both. He stared at Lucario, drooling.

"Gimme gimme! Lucario, come on!" Kirby prayed, his eyes bugging out of his head.

"No way! You wouldn't, would you Lucario?"

Lucario sighed. He snatched the nearest rope he could find and tied up Toon Link and thrust the poor dude into Kirby's evil little clutches. "Here you go, knock yourself out."

"WHAT?! NO! HELP MEEEE!"

"Muahahaha! Gahaha! Thanks Lucario! Now I'm off to season the twerp." Kirby ran off with the squalling child in hand.

"... Whatever." Lucario went back to his room to catch up on the newest Jonas Brothers songs.

What a jerk! Lucario soaked himself in the tub and sighed gaily. Now the relaxation was guaranteed. He began to turn on the iPod and scan for that one cool hit song that was on the radio all day yesterday. At the same time, scented bath beads fizzled in the tub. Lucario immersed himself in total serenity. Five minutes passed. Under his fur, his skin began to prune. He thought of everyone else, what were they buying? His mind wandered and it finally reached the point of asking, "What was Kirby doing?"

Lucario's mind went blank. Then the gears turned again. He was with Toon Link, but what were they doing? Had he been right to send the kid to his utter doom? Lucario shook away the thought. He turned the dial on the iPod to a song called, "Trust in You."

The pokemon paused. He kept on turning it, and the clicker landed on another song called Save Me. "Uhh..." he uttered. Finally, he turned until he found a song that had nothing to do with the current situation. He found something called "Unicorn".

"Well, I guess this is okay." He selected that song, but found it to be disgustingly perky and cute. "What the heck was that?!" Lucario then remembered that as a joke, Toon Link had put that on there.

"... Darn you random spasms guilt! Who made the chances of landing on these songs happen?! WHY?!"

"It was ME!!"

"Holy shit, who the hell is that?!" Lucario wailed.

"It's me, the AUTHORESS!" she said awesomely.

"Oh my gawd, only cheesy writers break the fourth wall like that!"

The pokemon was suddenly struck by a bolt of lightning. Which wouldn't be so bad, but it was worsened by the fact that he was still in the hot-tub.

"Ow." Lucario yiped.

"Now, why won't you save Toon Link, you bastard?!"

"What did he ever do for me?"

"Well, for one he only wanted a playmate... And he's got adorable cat eyes! I mean, have you SEEN those things? Wow!" she squealed.

"Fan-girl moment."

"Damn it. But that's not my point. Unless you want hoards of fan-girls to kill you in your sleep and ship your body off to Central America, I suggest you save him."

Lucario pondered this for a moment. Then, a wave of regret washed over him. Oh gawd, he was so evil! He had to save Toon Link!

"You're right. Thanks, random omni-potent authoress! I have to save the kid!" Lucario swiftly jumped out the nearest window in order to become a rescuer.

"...You do know you're on the fifth floor, right?" The teenage authoress stated.

"You tell me NOW!" Lucario growled from five stories below.

A/N: Yay! I appeared in my own story! And Lucario is nice now! Now what will happen? Find out next time!


	6. Chapter 6

Delicious!

Chapter SIX (OMG UPDATE!)

Authoress's Note: I FINALLY UPDATED YESSSSSSSSSSS! I'm sorry, but hey, at least I wrote SOMETHING. Here's chapter six. :3

Kirby was searching through one of the cupboards in the kitchen.

"Hrmmm, cups? No, don't need one now. Spoons? Heck no. Wait, what the heck is this?" Kirby pulled out a black notebook and sifted through the pages.

"Kirby. Cause of death: At the hands of cruel irony after eating too much and exploding on March 9th, 2009. Who's crap journal is THIS?" Kirby scanned through the notebook. "Property of Light Yagami." Kirby blinked and tossed it aside. "Worthless junk. It's probably Lucario's, that bookworm…."

Toon Link rolled around on the kitchen floor, trying to break free of his ropes. He WOULD have tried biting them off, but he had recently been gagged by Kirby. Drat… The boy sighed, accepting his fate.

"Hey Toon Link! I found the tenderizing mallet thing! Luigi hid it under a top hat with a puzzle in it. Weird, huh?"

.

"Freeze, sucka!" Lucario's paws sparkled with blue aura, and he gave Kirby a "come get me" look.

"…. Did you just destroy the wall with an aura sphere?"

"HECK YEAH!"

"…. Master Hand's gonna murder you."

**MEANWHILE…**

The scene was intense. Lobsters were flying everywhere. It was hard to breathe. "No… stay back…" Crazy Hand said weakly, right before one lobster sliced his palm. He gave a wet cough, blood spattering on out of his mouth and onto the dry desert ground, which gave up tiny wisps of dust that danced after the crimson fluid landed. It left beads of blood on the dusty ground, which infused with the specks and became maroon jewels.

Master Hand torpedoed towards the crustaceans, his knuckles making contact with three or so of them before ramming their bodies into a clay wall of one of the homes. They made a loud crunch, but survived. Master hand applied more pressure to them, while the lobsters' feeble legs tried to claw their way out of the hand's tortuous squeeze. Master hand decided to end their misery with a final crunch. He let go, letting the lobster bodies fall to the ground and lie limply. Their bodies relaxed, seeming to heave a sigh of relief after death had taken away all their stresses.

Master Hand rushed to the side of his ailing brother. "Crazy Hand!"

"Hey, Master Hand." He gave a distressed laugh before giving Master Hand a serious look. "Why?" he asked, before resting his finger heads on the ground and passing out.

Master Hand looked out on towards the horizon, gazing at all the damage done. They had won, but at what cost?

Master hand collapsed onto the ground, giving out a long wail that shook the very heavens.

"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?"

Meanwhile, Lucario lie on the ground, panting. "Damn it…."

"Muahahahaha! I see that I've finally WON our little battle," Kirby said.

Toon Link lay on the linoleum. "Errr, what? What battle? All I heard was some purple prose about lobsters or something," he mused.

"YOU SHUT UP, YUM-YUM!"

"NO, U!"

"Screw it! I'm using the meat tenderizer on you now!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Lucario swooped towards the child in one heroic act, but missed and crashed into a wall, knocking himself out.

"…. You all fail at life." Kirby picked up Lucario and Toon Link, and then headed off to his room.

"Aww crap, what the hell just happened?" Lucario woke to a horrible headache, and felt his body constricted by tight ropes. He was sitting in a pot filled with warm water, then realized he was in Kirby's pot. "What the-"

"HI LUCARIO!" Lucario looked to his left and saw that he had been tied to Toon Link. He had his head tilted up so that he could breathe easily, considering the water reached his _chin._ "Thanks for trying to save me, even though this all could have easily been avoided, had you not given me to Kirby a chapter ago."

Great. Toon Link was about to die, and he was still as perky as ever.

"Uhhh… I had an epiphany. "

"A pipe phone?"

"FOOLS! Have you no fear of DEATH?" Kirby bellowed, wearing a chef's hat while holding a ladle and a spatula.

"Don't you do this to us at least once a week?" Lucario didn't even know why they should be too afraid, since Kirby ate people and used his cook-like Final Smash every other day. "Besides, shouldn't the others get here soon?"

**Meanwhile…**

"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, banana phone!"

"Shut up, Diddy Kong."

"P Diddy!"

"It's just Diddy, now."  
"FUUUUUUUUUUU-"

"Oh crap! Luigi! We're about to crash!"

"OH SHI-"

**Back at the Mansion…**

"Well, Toon Link, it looks like this is goodbye."

"Yeah, about that…. I'd just like to say you always weren't not kinda sorta my best friend."

"… What."

Lucario began to fidget as the water became unbearably hot. Kirby began to chop up some vegetables and toss them into the water.

Suddenly, the roof caved in. Concrete landed on Kirby, squishing him, while Snake stood on top of the rubble victoriously.

"Deus ex machina! I mean, Snake! Where have you been?"

"I'm still conscious under here!"

Snake stomped on a piece of loose rubble on the ground, with a faint squishing sound being his answer.

"I've been at therapy, Lucario. I realized I don't need that box to complete me anymore. That, and I realized you guys were about to die."

"Well, thank ya, Snakey ol' pal ol' friend. Now would you mind untying us?" Snake untied the duo and placed Kirby into the Solitary Confinement room. Or something.

"Well, Snake, thanks for clearing up the ending after two or three years. So what are you gonna do now?" said Lucario.

"I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!" Snake proceeded to jump out the window. Again.

Lucario raised his eyebrow. "… We're in a basement."

"Wait a minute, where are the rest of the Smashers?"

**Meanwhile…**

Yoshi's eyes went wild as he nibbled on a spare rib he pulled out from the shopping bags. "This is amazing!"

"Yoshi! We just bought that! And it's raw!" Fox tried to pry open Yoshi's mouth, but to no avail. He sighed. "Damn, just hope you don't get a tapeworm."

"Oh, that's okay. I've already got 13." Yoshi pointed to his belly, which was wriggling a little and seemed to have something _crawling under the skin_.

Sadly, Peach turned her head and saw this. Then passed out. Then crashed the car into a tree.

**THE END! =D**

A/N: Okay, so like I have no idea why I never updated, but okay. 0_0


End file.
